It’s the title of one of my favorite Christian songs, by Point of Grace (from the Album "I Choose You"). Some of my favorite lines are in the chorus: “Who am I - to understand Your Ways, Who am I – to give You anything but praise?”
When I first heard this song it touched something deep inside of me, because I felt that was right where God had me in my life.
I am a wife and mother of three beautiful children – two wonderful boys who have suddenly morphed into some fine young men (I think I blinked because that happened way too fast), and a precious teen daughter with Autism. As I reflect over our journey with our daughter, tears fill my eyes. This is quite a journey! God has taken me to some pretty deep places emotionally because of this precious girl. At times I have cried out to God with a questioning spirit – Why, God? Why her? Why us? Why me? There was one chapter on our journey where it was evident that our daughter’s brain had been effectively poisoned by environmental toxicity, and we spent a lot of time and money to cleanse her body of those toxins. Naturally I searched for answers regarding the origin of these toxins and searched to get involved in legal action for compensation of this assault on an innocent child, to no avail. We prayed to God to heal her. Over and over we prayed for healing. I begged God to heal her. Perfect healing wasn’t a part of His plan. God had other plans. (Jer 29:11) I should write a book about God’s plans for her – it is being revealed day by day. …Who am I to understand Your Ways? Who am I to give You anything but praise?
Isaiah 55:8,9 says “‘For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My Ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My Ways higher than your ways and My Thoughts than your thoughts.’”
Most people who know my daughter tell us in one way or another of what a blessing she is. Our daughter has an infectious warmth and love for people, so that many people who get to know her thoroughly enjoy the moments they spend with her. Because of our daughter’s Autistic obsession with the Caribbean and her social quirkiness, she has met and introduced to us more people who are from the Caribbean than I ever knew existed here in Virginia (and wherever else we go) – wonderful, amazing, beautiful Caribbean people. Recently we have watched perfectly normal girls her age completely blow our minds by loving her in ways that we never imagined would have been possible. Not only that, but we have also watched in amazement as Julia has become a valued friend to one of her peers. …Who am I to understand Your Ways? Who am I to give You anything but praise?
God has taught me a lot about learning to accept what He has given me and to praise Him for it. Yes, grief and I know each other very well. It’s a normal, living, breathing part of this journey. But I am learning to accept. And I am learning to rejoice. And I am learning to praise God because His Ways are so much higher than my own.
When I first heard this song it touched something deep inside of me, because I felt that was right where God had me in my life.
I am a wife and mother of three beautiful children – two wonderful boys who have suddenly morphed into some fine young men (I think I blinked because that happened way too fast), and a precious teen daughter with Autism. As I reflect over our journey with our daughter, tears fill my eyes. This is quite a journey! God has taken me to some pretty deep places emotionally because of this precious girl. At times I have cried out to God with a questioning spirit – Why, God? Why her? Why us? Why me? There was one chapter on our journey where it was evident that our daughter’s brain had been effectively poisoned by environmental toxicity, and we spent a lot of time and money to cleanse her body of those toxins. Naturally I searched for answers regarding the origin of these toxins and searched to get involved in legal action for compensation of this assault on an innocent child, to no avail. We prayed to God to heal her. Over and over we prayed for healing. I begged God to heal her. Perfect healing wasn’t a part of His plan. God had other plans. (Jer 29:11) I should write a book about God’s plans for her – it is being revealed day by day. …Who am I to understand Your Ways? Who am I to give You anything but praise?
Isaiah 55:8,9 says “‘For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My Ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My Ways higher than your ways and My Thoughts than your thoughts.’”
Most people who know my daughter tell us in one way or another of what a blessing she is. Our daughter has an infectious warmth and love for people, so that many people who get to know her thoroughly enjoy the moments they spend with her. Because of our daughter’s Autistic obsession with the Caribbean and her social quirkiness, she has met and introduced to us more people who are from the Caribbean than I ever knew existed here in Virginia (and wherever else we go) – wonderful, amazing, beautiful Caribbean people. Recently we have watched perfectly normal girls her age completely blow our minds by loving her in ways that we never imagined would have been possible. Not only that, but we have also watched in amazement as Julia has become a valued friend to one of her peers. …Who am I to understand Your Ways? Who am I to give You anything but praise?
God has taught me a lot about learning to accept what He has given me and to praise Him for it. Yes, grief and I know each other very well. It’s a normal, living, breathing part of this journey. But I am learning to accept. And I am learning to rejoice. And I am learning to praise God because His Ways are so much higher than my own.
(Julia wearing the rainbow headband, with her precious friend, Maria, together at the lake this Summer.)
