It’s 7 am, and the sound of piercing screams is coming from the bedroom. Her back is hurting again. She has a pinched nerve not unlike that which so many of us have experienced. But her Autism removes a lot of the buffers that allow most of us to cope with difficult or painful situations, and with every scream I feel like a nerve of my own is being pinched. I suffer with her, as my heart breaks over her pain.
She is under the care of a chiropractor, but it will take time and lots of visits for him to get it back to normal. Until then, there is still much pain.
In my last blog, I wrote about mountain climbing. This is another of those mountains. Many times I feel that I am somehow climbing 5 or 6 mountains at the same time – either that or they are all combined into one long, harrowing, heart-thumping iron man course.
“He gives strength to the weary, and increases the power of the weak.” (Isa 40:29)
So many times, in the midst of those moments - the ones when her screams are piercing my heart, when the mountain crags seem most foreboding – I cry out, “Oh God, please help!”
And in the midst of those moments I discover a calmness of heart that wasn’t there before, and a supernatural surge of strength and skill and patience.
My trail guide is suddenly right there beside me, supporting me and helping me to find secure footing and keep going up. I catch a quick glimpse into those Eyes of understanding and love. Oh how He loves me! Oh how He loves her!
And so we press on.
Soon, I find myself on a level place on the path. It’s just a small level place, but it’s enough to stop and set my pack down and grab a quick drink of cool, refreshing water. I look back at what I’ve just come through and tears fill my eyes.
My Savior is quick to surround me with His comforting Arms of compassion, and I take a few moments to cry.
I wish I could just stop here and be done with the climbing. But I look down and see that these boots have so molded themselves to my feet that they are somehow a part of me. It’s who I am.
And so I pick up my back and get back on the trail.
She is under the care of a chiropractor, but it will take time and lots of visits for him to get it back to normal. Until then, there is still much pain.
In my last blog, I wrote about mountain climbing. This is another of those mountains. Many times I feel that I am somehow climbing 5 or 6 mountains at the same time – either that or they are all combined into one long, harrowing, heart-thumping iron man course.
“He gives strength to the weary, and increases the power of the weak.” (Isa 40:29)
So many times, in the midst of those moments - the ones when her screams are piercing my heart, when the mountain crags seem most foreboding – I cry out, “Oh God, please help!”
And in the midst of those moments I discover a calmness of heart that wasn’t there before, and a supernatural surge of strength and skill and patience.
My trail guide is suddenly right there beside me, supporting me and helping me to find secure footing and keep going up. I catch a quick glimpse into those Eyes of understanding and love. Oh how He loves me! Oh how He loves her!
And so we press on.
Soon, I find myself on a level place on the path. It’s just a small level place, but it’s enough to stop and set my pack down and grab a quick drink of cool, refreshing water. I look back at what I’ve just come through and tears fill my eyes.
My Savior is quick to surround me with His comforting Arms of compassion, and I take a few moments to cry.
I wish I could just stop here and be done with the climbing. But I look down and see that these boots have so molded themselves to my feet that they are somehow a part of me. It’s who I am.
And so I pick up my back and get back on the trail.
